I recall thinking that "it sounds somewhat clumsy to me" in the original was an odd thing to say, but I don't see this justified moving it to writers.se where it just got closed.
There have been many other questions asking for alternative wording - many are even tagged as sucheven tagged as such. Leave a comment to disagree with the "clumsy" misconception, and/or answer with one or more paraphrasings. And close it if the number of answers looks like getting out of hand.
