Actually, it stopped being "fun" for several months now. But as I already said in a comment, which is doomed to be deleted, I am heartily fed up with the general atmosphere that reigns here. And, what's even more worrying, I feel my initial enthusiasm, and delight in the English language has dampened considerable. I have also noticed despicable traits of intolerance and impatience in my own behaviour, for which I apologise. It is best for me leave.

The recent downvotes on nearly every question of mine, and the votes cast to close them have surprised and disappointed me hugely. I thought, I believed, I had earned some respect among the more senior members. I'm not asking any of you to "like" the questions but voting to close the following:

Why is "You're welcomed" wrong? as a duplicate of "You are welcome" or "You are welcomed" or "You welcome" and Perception versus Reality as a duplicate of Idiom for "what is apparent may not be the truth", were one of last few straws. Today was the last one.

Oh and yes, I had flagged my suspicions about those consistent two downvotes on almost every question, but the flag has been ignored since May 14 at 12:13. My previous flag, not so long ago, was confirmed and that user was suspended for a year. I guess I must generate hostility among you. Must be my fault. I give in.


  • 3
    Okay, so, uhm, now, ehm, what, wha, why, huh? What now?
    – NVZ Mod
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 17:42
  • 10
    We've both been here for 4 years. There will be ups and downs. You know it. Whatever this is, just remind yourself, "this too shall pass", and cheer up.
    – NVZ Mod
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 17:44
  • 5
    A prominent user in effect called me a liar about a year ago, and the mod did not delete his comment. (Although he did not use the word liar, his comment wasn't subtle.) In another SE forum, a prominent user said I was gaming the system when I edited one of my questions to show it wasn't a duplicate. (Another user reproved him.) Not everybody is nice all the time on SE -- just most of us. It seems to me that you have been very effective in the three examples you cited. Why not just take a sabbatical and see how you feel in a couple of months?
    – ab2
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 18:33
  • 5
    What NVZ and abc said. You just gotta suck it up and go ("woman up? :) Seriously, it's feasible the mods might be a bit less attentive to low-level personal attacks on high-rep users, on the grounds that they've been here long enough to know that sort of thing comes with the territory. And perhaps we all tend to think of a 50K+ rep as being a bit like metaphoric online armour, even if it doesn't work like that for everyone. Commented May 28, 2017 at 18:54
  • 4
    I'm sorry to see you go. My interest in ELU is waning as well. But for different reasons. I just don't find anything here interesting or engaging any longer. It's not that the site has changed, it's that it's the same, and the novelty has worn off. On the other hand, I could not care less if people downvote or closevote or whatever my posts. If the site is still interesting for you but you're bugged by voting, can I suggest you simply ignore that aspect and any users who cast votes you don't like, and see whether you still find the site has something to add to your life?
    – Dan Bron
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 20:13
  • 6
    Of the two questions you explicitly cite here, the first received one close flag from a <3k user, and I can't see the other one has ever been close-voted (or flagged). And moderators don't ignore flags, but it's often best to leave a flag "active" until it can be marked as resolved. Voting irregularites take time to investigate, because it can't be done by moderators.
    – Andrew Leach Mod
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 20:48
  • 4
    Thanks for all your answers and help!
    – Jason C
    Commented May 28, 2017 at 21:23
  • 11
    How does one vote for a post like this? Is an upvote one of support/agreement, or of agreeing with your leaving? Does a downvote mean I don't like the post or I wish you weren't leaving? I'm sorry to read of your frustration with a site you've invested so heavily in, and contributed so robustly to. I appreciate all you've done to make this a livelier site. Commented May 28, 2017 at 21:39
  • 3
    I caught a fleeting glimpse of a comment that was way, way over the line a minute ago. It vanished as I clicked on "rude and abusive". If this is what is making things "not fun", please don't give the person a victory.
    – ab2
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 0:10
  • 3
    In the internet slang I think they are called "haters". There are quite a few also on ELU and I've always wondered if the system can detect them. They rarely post questions or answers, their main activities are DV, CV and posting odious, unhelpful and pretestous comments just with the aim of irritating more committed users. I must admit they are quite smart in disguising their true intentions as serious, helpful ones. Giving in to haters just means falling into their trap.
    – user66974
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 11:09
  • 7
    As for "fun", ELU is what we make of it. I think the real issue is the lack of good, challenging questions. You are one of the very few high rep users who has constantly posted well-researched and interesting questions. For some reason high rep user are reluctant to post questions, and if you leave, I'm sure there are users who will miss your contribution. – Josh 59 mins ago
    – user66974
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 12:10
  • 3
    @Mari-louA -- Don't go away! Your points of objection are pertinent and need community introspection. Please don't go away -- NEW USERS NEED YOU. You are one of the most helpful and encouraging senior members for new users, and though I value the kind guidance of many high-reputation seniors and some excellent recent entrants, I consider you my mentor here at EL & U. Commented Jun 2, 2017 at 10:04
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    @AndrewLeach Hello. As you can tell, I did not "leave" but I am not posting, and I have drastically reduced time and effort spent on improving the site for everyone. May I ask why my flag reporting suspicious voting behaviour in May 13 is still waiting to be reviewed? Obviously, since I no longer post questions or answers, and, possibly due to this meta post, the DVs have discontinued. But i would like to know if my suspicions were founded or not. Is that too much to ask, after five weeks? Can you please ask around? Thanks.
    – Mari-Lou A
    Commented Jun 19, 2017 at 8:42
  • As for the votes to close my question, they expired, which is why you cannot see them today. I am surprised that mods cannot see the voting histories of posts, I learn something new every day.
    – Mari-Lou A
    Commented Jun 19, 2017 at 8:44
  • @Mari-LouA I'll see what can be done to help with looking at your suspicions on voting. Actually, the second question did get two "duplicate" closevotes, both aged away (and it survived a review with 3 × "keep open"); I don't know where I looked not to see those.
    – Andrew Leach Mod
    Commented Jun 19, 2017 at 9:00

3 Answers 3


Your questions are often among my favorite on this site. They're thought provoking and can lead to interesting research, so I do hope you change your mind. But as others have said, there's nothing wrong with taking a break.

I'm pretty new to this site but I've already noticed a waxing and waning in the quality of the questions and in the sort of feedback I get to both answers and questions that I post.

Furthermore, in my humble and limited opinion as a new user, I've become aware that asking good questions is difficult. Sometimes I'll ask a question, get some initially critical comments, and then a user will blow me away with a phenomenal answer. Other times I'll ask a question with a genuine and serious intent and get down votes. My reaction has been to try not to take it personally.

Anyhow, these are my thoughts after 55 days of using this site. I just want you to know that I appreciate everything you contribute to my experience on this site with your questions, answers, comments and edits.

  • 2
    I haven't been around on EL&U all that long either compared to some others, but I've noticed (as have others) that the waxing and waning of contributions has some correlation to 'seasons' of the year - exam season, for example.
    – Lawrence
    Commented Jun 1, 2017 at 14:42

All good things come to an end, and that's an ultimate truth about life, the universe, and everything. Also, expectations lead to disappointments, and that’s why it’s unwise to expect others to respect you, or treat you well.

Since you feel your relationship with ELU is not headed in the right direction, taking a break is fine, and may even be beneficial. Just make sure to come back to ELU after a while. We will miss your contribution. :)

  • I feel like I need to remind my own self this advice sometimes. +1 to myself. :)
    – NVZ Mod
    Commented May 1, 2019 at 7:35
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    Yes, I think it's a good reminder to all. +1 again to myself.
    – NVZ Mod
    Commented Mar 19, 2022 at 20:59

Mari-Lou A, it'd be sad to see you go. I hope you'll at least keep your user profile even if it's inactive, and pop back from time to time. Take care!

And feel free to change your mind. The site needs people like you who care for the tone and tenor of the community, not just the data of its Q&As.

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