The source of your woe—if indeed you are woeful—seems traceable to the fact that you are an idealist. That is, you imagine that thoughtful, intelligent people, if they put their minds to it, will inevitably agree with you (since you are a thoughtful, intelligent person) about what constitutes the beautiful and the good—in this case, the beautiful and the good EL&U answer. But in reality, thoughtful, intelligent people disagree about practically everything and are constantly at each other's throats.
Given this state of affairs, it may make more sense to ask yourself not "How can we thoughtful, intelligent people make common cause to rid English Language & Usage of its blights and inequities?" but instead "How can I reach a state of equipoise at this site so that I can enjoy myself and feel fulfilled by my contributions to it without being periodically banned from the premises?" In my view the most important step toward balance is to do things on the site that are rewards in themselves and don't hinge on the level of approval they receive from others.
I sometimes write very long answers. In fact I once was asked to convert an answer into a blog post because—even after I divided it into two answers—both halves exceeded the maximum character count for an EL&U answer. Just yesterday I spent eight or ten hours researching and writing up an answer to a five-year-old question. It's a long answer—mostly citations—but its purpose isn't to overawe the reader; it's to give a picture of how people have responded to the poster's question over a period of roughly 175 years.
More narrowly, I felt that one of the earlier answers to that particular question was polemical and tendentious in a way that encouraged misunderstanding—which, to me, is the worst thing an EL&U answer can do. I wanted to establish a historical framework or context within which this other answerer's argument could be fact-checked and fairly gauged. In the end, I hit that darn maximum character count again; but after a bit of self-discipline, I brought the answer in under the maximum and in what I took to be fine fettle. At that point, my happiness was pretty much complete: I had countered the misleading answer with what I considered an exceedingly judicious presentation of the evidence I had uncovered. My work there was done.
So what is missing from this picture? Oh, yes—upvotes. To my pleasant surprise, my long long answer received three upvotes and no downvotes (though I'm sure that the person whose answer I sought to undermine will downvote mine as soon as he becomes aware of it). That works out to about 0.33 upvote per hour spent on the answer—not bad for one of my long answers. Of course, if I compared that rate of reward with the rate at which some single-word request answers pile up upvotes, I might feel less jolly. But I don't. And the reason I don't is that I have a clear idea of what I want to contribute to EL&U (thoughtful, carefully researched answers) and what I expect in return (not much). Receiving upvotes is always pleasant, but it's not why I participate at this site.
EL&U is full of people—many of them both thoughtful and intelligent—pursuing very different goals under the same umbrella. Given the diversity of interests and purposes, it is hardly surprising that we don't speak with one voice on matters of grave import, or indeed on much of anything. But what we can do is tolerate each other—and perhaps even presume (absent clear evidence to the contrary) that everyone who participates here is motivated by a desire to make the site better, though their notion of improvement may be incomprehensible to us—and (when it is our turn) use the open microphone that this Website provides to give voice to the things we care about.
Ultimately, I'm not sure I agree with you about anything (except refusing to downvote). But there are times when I read one of your answers and think "This guy could be a real asset to this site; he has a sharp mind, and his answers—when he isn't just showing off or getting into a rage about something—are quite perceptive and useful." I don't think that EL&U is ripe for revolution, and I have no wish to see it altered radically. If you do, I think you are likely to be disappointed; and it may be that a fruitful relationship with this site is simply impossible for you. But whether you work out a satisfactory modus operandi here or not, I wish you the best.