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Looking at recent posts here on Meta, it appears to me that there are often clashes among users based on personal issues rather than specific "site" matters. This makes a negative impression on me, and probably on other less experienced users who come to this site mainly for language issues. I understand that personal issues my prevail at times but recent posts suggest an acrimony among experienced users that is "surprising" . Well, "it's none of your business" someone might object, but I want to offer my point of view despite that. My feeling is that language issues should come first, and personal problems should be kept at bay. Personalism is a problem and has little to do with language matters. I don't want to make specific reference to posts and users names, but it is all very visible and readable.

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    How can this be closed for being an "opinion based issue" in a site in which we discuss opinions?
    – user 66974
    Jul 14, 2016 at 6:43
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    Of course the purpose of the site must come first. There are sanctions available to moderators when SE's overarching "Be nice" policy is not followed. They are not used lightly.
    – Chenmunka
    Jul 14, 2016 at 8:04
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    I'm pretty sure that it all stems from site matters, just disagreements and behaviors about those matters get exacerbated. Of course, content first but sometimes it is important to air personal grievances so that they can be managed or resolved. We'd all prefer for there not to be complaints, but no complaints doesn't mean that there's nothing to complain about.
    – Mitch
    Jul 14, 2016 at 12:59

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I agree that it does not make the best impression to air our dirty laundry publicly on Meta. I agree as well that the questions on the site should be the focus of the site rather than reputation, badges, and egos.

We have excellent contributors here. They have diverse experiences and think with a multitude of thoughts. We are a richer community because of our differences.

That said, we are human and we don't always get along. When any of us gets to the point where we can't agree to disagree, or where we're feeling like our point of view is not understood, or when we are frustrated, angry, or upset, then we're faced with a choice: we can talk about it and try to make it better, or we can walk away from the community.

I'd prefer that we talk about it.

It is better to discuss in public on Meta than it is to argue in comments, and I'd posit that it is better to post on Meta than to debate in chat. Overall, in my opinion, it's better to talk about it than to not.

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    Assuming you mean 'better to talk about personalism' then +1. But your last paragraph could mean that personal disagreements are better on Meta than in chat, with which I'd heartily disagree.
    – Tim Lymington
    Jul 14, 2016 at 12:47
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    Thanks, but excessive personalism has also negative implications on ordinary activities of the site making it unnecessarily more difficult and apparently unwelcoming. A recent question of mine has required long, exhausting, but unnecessary discussions just to show my good faith that I had done my homework before asking. Is all this really necessary?
    – user 66974
    Jul 14, 2016 at 12:54
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    @Saturana I agree, but we can't change the way people are. The best we can do is try to contain the effects.
    – Kit Z. Fox Mod
    Jul 14, 2016 at 12:55
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    Please do, thanks! :)
    – user 66974
    Jul 14, 2016 at 12:57
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    @Saturana 'long, exhausting unnecessary discussions'? That's not a personal issue but a content one. Annoying, yes, but people asking for elaboration are trying to make the site better for everyone (maybe not using the best manners). Are you asking about publicly airing grievances or are you asking about people who are annoyingly asking for what research you did?
    – Mitch
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:03
  • @Mitch There was a lot of extraneous commentary beyond asking for evidence of research.
    – Kit Z. Fox Mod
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:06
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    @Mitch - If I can find no evidence on an expression I don't understand, what should I do apart from asking and saying I did what I could to look for it. How do I look for something I don't know.? Why should user insist that I am not in good faith, is that the "polite" policy? Why should asking a question be so stressful? I am not an experienced user and non native ( big fault) , I think that should be taken into due account.
    – user 66974
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:09
  • I generally don't remove commentary on Meta, but if you all want to have a discussion about that, you should make a new post on Meta and not argue in the comments on my answer here.
    – Kit Z. Fox Mod
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:43
  • @KitZ.Fox - sorry.
    – user 66974
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:44
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    @Saturana I didn't see the question or comment thread that you are talking about. You are right about benefit of the doubt (for everybody, not just non-native speakers). Some visitors here (like anywhere on the internet) get all up in your face about rules that are really just guidelines.
    – Mitch
    Jul 14, 2016 at 13:52

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