I recall thinking that *"it sounds somewhat clumsy to me"* in the original was an odd thing to say, but I don't see this justified moving it to writers.se where it just got closed.

There have been many other questions asking for alternative wording - many are [even tagged as such][1]. Leave a comment to disagree with the "clumsy" misconception, and/or answer with one or more paraphrasings. And close it if the number of answers looks like getting out of hand.


  [1]: http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/tagged/alternative