Suppose a participant writes a rude or hurtful comment, and a flag is raised, and it's removed. As far as I can tell, nothing gets communicated to the participant -- the comment just quietly disappears, with nothing else happening. Sometimes the commenter comes back to that page, and figures things out -- but he might not.
I don't understand how this helps the commenter learn from the mistake.
We can all make mistakes; hopefully at some point we start to learn from them. But the commenter might not even notice that the comment was removed.
Is this a flaw in the system? Or is there more to the system than I've figured out?
Would it be reasonable for me to post a comment, at the same time as making a flag, saying something like
@you (whoever it happens to be) - What an unfriendly comment. Just so you know, I have raised a flag.
Do the moderators here in fact use the medium of a private chat, as described by @NVZ, to help them understand? In the case I observed, the comments were simply deleted with no explanation, leaving the person whose comments had been flagged wondering, "What the heck? What happened to my comments?"
What procedures are recommended to moderators by the SE organization around this topic?